We had high hopes for The Sorcerer's Apprentice and, after an overly complicated historical introduction, it starts well - with young Dave's incursion into a fantastical magic shop recalling 80s greats like The Neverending Story.
Then we flash-forward to Jay Barucehel in modern day New York and things start to get a little ropey. It's not just Nicolas Cage's increasingly unlikely wigs, Baruchel's improbably high pitched voice (seriously, was he chosen because he actually sounds like Mickey Mouse?) nor the pointlessly scientific approach to magic but a combination of all these things and the film serious deficit of fun. It's all the more disappointing because two supporting players, Alfred Molina and Toby Kebbell, perfectly capture the quirky tone we know director Turteltaub is capable of sustaining - their moments together as master and apprentice are the highlight of the film.
Still, some of the magic is impressive and its slightly less limp than much of the child friendly dross we've seen in 2010.
17.8.10
REVIEW - The Last Airbender
Based on the successful (and by all accounts decent) Nickelodeon cartoon series, the film tells the story of the mythical Avatar who could unite the warring elemental nations of fire, water, earth and air by being awesome. And bald. And a kid who beats baddies up with air.
It's never a good sign when a children's film has to start with a screenful of text to get young 'uns up to speed and throughout Shyamalan takes extended time outs for laboured exposition and backstories. His writing and direction lack any kind of pace or vigour, relying on masses of close-ups and POV conversations which are simply out of place in a blockbuster adventure. The action when it comes is lazy, there's rarely any correlation between the frantic martial arts moves of the combatants and the flurries of elemental powers, while a few slow-motion 300-esque moments seem tacked on. In short; an attractive and utterly boring mess, with shoddy 3D and no sense of fun. Avoid.
1/5
It's never a good sign when a children's film has to start with a screenful of text to get young 'uns up to speed and throughout Shyamalan takes extended time outs for laboured exposition and backstories. His writing and direction lack any kind of pace or vigour, relying on masses of close-ups and POV conversations which are simply out of place in a blockbuster adventure. The action when it comes is lazy, there's rarely any correlation between the frantic martial arts moves of the combatants and the flurries of elemental powers, while a few slow-motion 300-esque moments seem tacked on. In short; an attractive and utterly boring mess, with shoddy 3D and no sense of fun. Avoid.
1/5
30.7.10
Do you really need an iPad
My view on the realities of the iPad, which appeared in The Evening Herald on the 28th of July 2010.
The Evening Herald - iPad review page 1
The Evening Herald - iPad review page 2
The Evening Herald - iPad review page 1
The Evening Herald - iPad review page 2
9.7.10
REVIEW - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
As Seattle is plagued by a series of violent murders, Bella and Edward have been reunited, with Jacob pushed to the sidelines once again. But when an army of young vampires descends on Forks, the vamps and werewolves have to work together to keep Bella safe.
Eclipse is easily the most male friendly entry in the series to date with some nice dark visuals and meaty action, particularly in a last act face-off that seems to prove that vampires are made out tin-foil. This all comes courtesy of director David Slade, who knows his vampire action from the not-quite-brilliant 30 Days of Night. The new focus on action means less slushy stuff from the leads and the cutaways to Seatlle are dripping with atmosphere, as are several flashbacks which recount the early lives on the vampire brood - in brief story snatches more compelling than anything conjured up in the movies.
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson finally look halfway comfortable in their roles, though the romance is still to heavy handed and the clear anti-sex message overwhelming - not only will Edward not be with Bella until they are married but he makes it very clear that the consummation might well kill her. Elsewhere, Taylor Lautner tries some humour and doesn't quite pull it off while only Billy Burke seems intent to point out the ridiculousness of it all. This entry spends minimal time with supporting characters, particularly Bella's school friends which is a big loss as Anna Kendrick was one of the more bearable things about New Moon.
The main problem with Eclipse is a near total lack of story, a negative point inherited by the ponderous book which seemed like nothing more than an excuse to have some vampire on vampire action. It's a shame, because the stylish visuals, strong action and improved effects could have made this the best in the series, but without any character development the finale lacks punch. Still, guys won't be bored and the target demographic will lap up the restrained shirtlessness and some slightly steamier scenes with the personality-free leads.
3/5
Eclipse is easily the most male friendly entry in the series to date with some nice dark visuals and meaty action, particularly in a last act face-off that seems to prove that vampires are made out tin-foil. This all comes courtesy of director David Slade, who knows his vampire action from the not-quite-brilliant 30 Days of Night. The new focus on action means less slushy stuff from the leads and the cutaways to Seatlle are dripping with atmosphere, as are several flashbacks which recount the early lives on the vampire brood - in brief story snatches more compelling than anything conjured up in the movies.
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson finally look halfway comfortable in their roles, though the romance is still to heavy handed and the clear anti-sex message overwhelming - not only will Edward not be with Bella until they are married but he makes it very clear that the consummation might well kill her. Elsewhere, Taylor Lautner tries some humour and doesn't quite pull it off while only Billy Burke seems intent to point out the ridiculousness of it all. This entry spends minimal time with supporting characters, particularly Bella's school friends which is a big loss as Anna Kendrick was one of the more bearable things about New Moon.
The main problem with Eclipse is a near total lack of story, a negative point inherited by the ponderous book which seemed like nothing more than an excuse to have some vampire on vampire action. It's a shame, because the stylish visuals, strong action and improved effects could have made this the best in the series, but without any character development the finale lacks punch. Still, guys won't be bored and the target demographic will lap up the restrained shirtlessness and some slightly steamier scenes with the personality-free leads.
3/5
6.7.10
REVIEW - Predators
I have to admit when news filtered through the interweb that 20th Century Fox were re-animating the much abused corpse of the Predator franchise it filled me with dread. Having not only suffered the indignity of a limp 1990 sequel starring Lispy McLisps-a-lot (aka Danny Glover), the character has been further brutalised by two AvP films which surgically removed everything even slightly memorable. But against all odds, Robert Rodriguez and director Nimród Antal have served up a sci-fi action dish in Predators which is almost the equal of the 1987 classic.
It starts badly, following a dumbfounded Adrien Brody as he freefalls towards an endless jungle. The effects are ropy and the opening character introductions a little too broad. But as more chutes plunge into the canopy and the eight strangers slowly band together there’s a sense of logic to the proceedings – of highly trained individuals pooling their resources to survive, or at least biding their time til they get the lay of the land. And as the minutes tick by in wafer thin, but adequate, character development, you suddenly realise that nothing supernatural has happened. Predators spends serious time in the jungle as a survival thriller before ever broaching the possibility of being trapped on an alien planet. The film feels no need for an upfront teaser to reassure the fans that they are seeing a Predator film – quietly confident that it works without the need for overpowering effects and gore.
And it does; eight characters means there’s always a new source of drama and the film avoids reeling out obvious gags to create a forced sense of camaraderie – these people aren’t friends, they are just trying to survive. This slower paced introduction doles out exposition in generous helpings, almost always from Brody, who appears to be the only one with any functioning senses – at one point Braga’s Isabelle points out that there is no magnetic north, while Brody calmly observes that the sun seems to be fixed in the sky. The spoonfed explanations get a little trying, but the dumber members of the group are clearly standing in for those equally sloth-minded audience members, an unfortunate must in blockbuster cinema.
Predators also knows exactly how to play to fans of the original – drawing expertly on our nostalgia in similar ways to Superman Returns. It’s most obvious in the music – Alan Silvestri’s awesome score is referenced subtly in the beat of eerie drums or a brief trill of the theme – but even the structure of the film is carefully planned, creating parallels in the placement of similar scenes, such as the discovery of a skinned carcass. Antal and Rodriguez have created a smarter film here than they will be given credit for.
When the pace picks up, the film is smart enough to reference the real hunting practises which made the original so memorable, introducing new creatures and inverting the formula just enough to remain fresh. In many ways, it’s a more ambitious story, told with a minimum of CG enhancements and some restrained but effective gore.
Naturally, it’s not perfect – Lawrence Fishburne’s character is a little problematic and the final act finds itself with too many bodies left to dispose of, killing off characters in quick succession before an ending that threatens to go off the rails. To the filmmakers credit, it doesn’t and there’s certainly material here for a spate of spin-offs and sequels. Against all odds, Brody is great in the central role of Royce – adding a guttural bark to his normal nasal tone and getting in tremendous shape. The cast in general is surprisingly solid, especially the ineffably cool Alice Braga and a memorable Walton Goggins, who earns most of the films laughs with some off-colour humour. Topher Grace and Fishburne are the weak links but neither is distracting enough to spoil the film.
Predators is easily the best movie in the series since the original. The action is strong, the characters are adequate and, above all else, it doesn’t defecate from orbit on our one of the best sci-fi actioners of the 80s. Watch it.
25.6.10
REVIEW - When in Rome
When in Rome almost lost me with its staid romantic/comedy intro, complete with Beth’s three demographic-grabbing friends (one fat, one cute, one gay) and a laboured social faux pas. But once the plot finally kicked into gear, things improved dramatically.
This is chiefly because of the leads – even hamstrung by weak dialogue and plotting, Bell is never less than engaging and I was surprised by Duhamel, having only previously encountered him as a prop in Transformers and its travesty of a sequel. The duo have decent chemistry and comic timing, and are introduced in a pair of enjoyable set pieces that actually manage to draw a laugh from tired slapstick.
Once back in New York, the lazy genre requirements have to be trundled out, though at least we have the magically infatuated suitors for a bit of distraction. These cameos are easily the most disappointing thing about the film – throwing up names like Danny DeVito, Jon Heder and Will Arnett but giving them absolutely nothing to do.
The character bloat spoils the final act, as the overcomplicated supernatural goings-on have to be resolved, including an utterly dull and seemingly endless scene of exposition to some couch-bound former funny men. There’s some last minute drama and indecision but it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out the ending.
When in Rome is sporadically charming and hopefully will lead to bigger things for the talented Bell. Director Johnson (who made Daredevil - which isn't as bad as you remember - honest!) keeps things going at a good pace and feels most comfortable with the set pieces – like a crazy action scene in a miniature car towards the end. But the comedy cameos are wasted, the supporting characters dull or annoying (apart from the always fantastic Kristen Schaal and some terrible CG effects threaten to spoil the goodwill of the audience. Oh, and there’s a dance sequence over the credits for no discernible reason.
Charming leads and a few laughs mean romantic/comedy fans could do much worse.
3/5
[and yes, the trailer is hopeless obnoxious]
This is chiefly because of the leads – even hamstrung by weak dialogue and plotting, Bell is never less than engaging and I was surprised by Duhamel, having only previously encountered him as a prop in Transformers and its travesty of a sequel. The duo have decent chemistry and comic timing, and are introduced in a pair of enjoyable set pieces that actually manage to draw a laugh from tired slapstick.
Once back in New York, the lazy genre requirements have to be trundled out, though at least we have the magically infatuated suitors for a bit of distraction. These cameos are easily the most disappointing thing about the film – throwing up names like Danny DeVito, Jon Heder and Will Arnett but giving them absolutely nothing to do.
The character bloat spoils the final act, as the overcomplicated supernatural goings-on have to be resolved, including an utterly dull and seemingly endless scene of exposition to some couch-bound former funny men. There’s some last minute drama and indecision but it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out the ending.
When in Rome is sporadically charming and hopefully will lead to bigger things for the talented Bell. Director Johnson (who made Daredevil - which isn't as bad as you remember - honest!) keeps things going at a good pace and feels most comfortable with the set pieces – like a crazy action scene in a miniature car towards the end. But the comedy cameos are wasted, the supporting characters dull or annoying (apart from the always fantastic Kristen Schaal and some terrible CG effects threaten to spoil the goodwill of the audience. Oh, and there’s a dance sequence over the credits for no discernible reason.
Charming leads and a few laughs mean romantic/comedy fans could do much worse.
3/5
[and yes, the trailer is hopeless obnoxious]
REVIEW - MacGruber
MacGruber started life as a Saturday Night Live parody of the 80s TV show ‘MacGyver’, who made complex and non-violent gadgets out of seemingly innocuous household items. In the short sketches MacGruber, along with his assistant and the celebrity guest of the week, would find himself confronted by a ticking bomb with only seconds to live. Inevitably, the segments ended with the bomb exploding due to his ineptitude; cue polite laughter.
Now, despite these sketches being only mildly amusing at best, the SNL powers that be have decided that MacGruber is the perfect character to reignite their flagging success at the box office in a 90 minute action blockbuster.
The film starts well, playing it straight with a bloodthirsty intro before the (forgiveable)puerile title sequence and the following decent parody of the monastery scene from Rambo III, complete with a gravelly voiced Powers Boothe. It’s in these moments that MacGruber is most effective, when the action movie homage is to the fore and the supporting cast are playing it straight – leaving mulleted Will Forte to ham it up as the title character.
It’s a shame then that much of the rest of the film meanders off in search of laughs, more often earning guilty sniggers from recurring gags like Kilmer’s character name – Dieter Von Cunth. Yes really. A few moments could have been hilarious with better pacing and editing, such as an accidental explosion or an inappropriate human shield but both are over-edited and spoiled mercilessly by the trailers.
Forte is certainly committed to the role, even when sporting a celery suppository there’s never the slightest hint of self-consciousness. But the character lacks a single redeeming quality to make the audience root for him. The talented Kristen Wiig reprises her supporting role from the sketches but her solid comic timing is all but wasted, apart from a nearly titter worthy cafe scene, and you have to wonder how far down the list previously-famous Ryan Philippe was. Kilmer is just amorphous filler with nothing to do, despite proving utterly hilarious with the right material and only schlock-veteran Boothe emerges relatively unscathed.
MacGruber at least tries to flesh out its meagre premise by taking a parodic stab at the action genre with some nods to the ‘MacGyver’ series (there’s a court case pending on the legalities) but the budget is too limited for any decent action and to say that the humour is aimed at the gutter would probably be a compliment. The laughs are few and far between – unless you think defecating on a corpse is comedy gold.
Remember when SNL movies were funny? No, neither do I.
1/5
Now, despite these sketches being only mildly amusing at best, the SNL powers that be have decided that MacGruber is the perfect character to reignite their flagging success at the box office in a 90 minute action blockbuster.
The film starts well, playing it straight with a bloodthirsty intro before the (forgiveable)puerile title sequence and the following decent parody of the monastery scene from Rambo III, complete with a gravelly voiced Powers Boothe. It’s in these moments that MacGruber is most effective, when the action movie homage is to the fore and the supporting cast are playing it straight – leaving mulleted Will Forte to ham it up as the title character.
It’s a shame then that much of the rest of the film meanders off in search of laughs, more often earning guilty sniggers from recurring gags like Kilmer’s character name – Dieter Von Cunth. Yes really. A few moments could have been hilarious with better pacing and editing, such as an accidental explosion or an inappropriate human shield but both are over-edited and spoiled mercilessly by the trailers.
Forte is certainly committed to the role, even when sporting a celery suppository there’s never the slightest hint of self-consciousness. But the character lacks a single redeeming quality to make the audience root for him. The talented Kristen Wiig reprises her supporting role from the sketches but her solid comic timing is all but wasted, apart from a nearly titter worthy cafe scene, and you have to wonder how far down the list previously-famous Ryan Philippe was. Kilmer is just amorphous filler with nothing to do, despite proving utterly hilarious with the right material and only schlock-veteran Boothe emerges relatively unscathed.
MacGruber at least tries to flesh out its meagre premise by taking a parodic stab at the action genre with some nods to the ‘MacGyver’ series (there’s a court case pending on the legalities) but the budget is too limited for any decent action and to say that the humour is aimed at the gutter would probably be a compliment. The laughs are few and far between – unless you think defecating on a corpse is comedy gold.
Remember when SNL movies were funny? No, neither do I.
1/5
18.6.10
REVIEW - Greenberg
Ben Stiller goes all indie and dramatic with The Squid and the Whale director at the helm.
Stiller's Greenberg is a man in his 40s recovering from a recent mental breakdown who decides to 'do nothing for a while' and housesit for this successful brother. There, he starts an awkward romance with his brothers assistant (Greta Gerwig) and restrained quirkiness ensues.
Director Noah Baumbach keeps his latest effort relatively grounded, creating a character study of a person who is almost impossible to like. Greenberg is clearly damaged but his endless self-absorption makes it's hard to root for him to get better. Likewise, Gerwig's Florence is so weak-willed and insipid, submitting to sexual advances because it's easier than saying no, that it seems like neither character has any positive forward momentum. You dread the idea of them ending up together as surely she would be utterly subsumed by his egocentric world view.
It's a considerable achievement then that Greenberg remains watchable, even if the plot is limited and the characters insufferable. Stiller has never been better and there's able support from the likes of a wonderfully restrained Rhys Ifans and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
3.5/5
Stiller's Greenberg is a man in his 40s recovering from a recent mental breakdown who decides to 'do nothing for a while' and housesit for this successful brother. There, he starts an awkward romance with his brothers assistant (Greta Gerwig) and restrained quirkiness ensues.
Director Noah Baumbach keeps his latest effort relatively grounded, creating a character study of a person who is almost impossible to like. Greenberg is clearly damaged but his endless self-absorption makes it's hard to root for him to get better. Likewise, Gerwig's Florence is so weak-willed and insipid, submitting to sexual advances because it's easier than saying no, that it seems like neither character has any positive forward momentum. You dread the idea of them ending up together as surely she would be utterly subsumed by his egocentric world view.
It's a considerable achievement then that Greenberg remains watchable, even if the plot is limited and the characters insufferable. Stiller has never been better and there's able support from the likes of a wonderfully restrained Rhys Ifans and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
3.5/5
REVIEW - Brooklyn's Finest
Director Antoine Fuqua tries to recapture some of the Oscar-winning glory of 2001's Training Day with this gritty ensemble drama and is at least partly successful.
The interweaving tale of three unrelated New York City cops takes us into some very dark territory - particularly in the case of Ethan Hawke's character, a good man worn down by the demands of a large and ailing family. He gives a powerhouse performance, easily overshadowing a mis-cast Richard Gere and the inconsistent Don Cheadle and its good to see ever charismatic Wesley Snipes back in a theatrically-released film.
The visuals are strong and the violence overtly grim but ultimately it's the glut of clichés which spoils Brooklyn's Finest - first time feature writer Michael C. Martin peoples his script with overly familiar types right through to the dramatic but utterly predictable finale. Watchable but flawed.
3/5
The interweaving tale of three unrelated New York City cops takes us into some very dark territory - particularly in the case of Ethan Hawke's character, a good man worn down by the demands of a large and ailing family. He gives a powerhouse performance, easily overshadowing a mis-cast Richard Gere and the inconsistent Don Cheadle and its good to see ever charismatic Wesley Snipes back in a theatrically-released film.
The visuals are strong and the violence overtly grim but ultimately it's the glut of clichés which spoils Brooklyn's Finest - first time feature writer Michael C. Martin peoples his script with overly familiar types right through to the dramatic but utterly predictable finale. Watchable but flawed.
3/5
REVIEW - Sex and the City 2
HBO fans of the world unite - did you like 'Rome'? How about the superlative 'Deadwood' or the potential splendour of 'Carnivale'?
Well do you know what you can have instead of a satisfying, plot resolving resolution to any of those fine series' - you can listen to an octogenarian harridan screaming 'Lawrence of my labia' while squirming in vomit-inducing pleasure. You can also marvel at the scene where it's difficult to tell the difference between a group of camels and the increasingly leather-skinned ladies or the frankly insulting fiddly-jig which plays every time a braless Irish nanny takes to the screen.
On the small screen, 'SATC' was acerbically sharp, envelope-pushing and BLISSFULLY SHORT! After two and a half hours of adventures in international ignorance and sexual encounters that threaten the gag reflex, you'll be hard pushed to remember what made these girls so fantastic the first time round.
0/5
Well do you know what you can have instead of a satisfying, plot resolving resolution to any of those fine series' - you can listen to an octogenarian harridan screaming 'Lawrence of my labia' while squirming in vomit-inducing pleasure. You can also marvel at the scene where it's difficult to tell the difference between a group of camels and the increasingly leather-skinned ladies or the frankly insulting fiddly-jig which plays every time a braless Irish nanny takes to the screen.
On the small screen, 'SATC' was acerbically sharp, envelope-pushing and BLISSFULLY SHORT! After two and a half hours of adventures in international ignorance and sexual encounters that threaten the gag reflex, you'll be hard pushed to remember what made these girls so fantastic the first time round.
0/5
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